I watched the movie Wine Country this week, and ladies if you haven’t…you should. It’s a good old fashion good for the soul funny chick flick.
The re-occurring phrase is “Things we say now” and it’s so funny, because I’m going to guess you aren’t even aware of the shift as you age. So here are a few things I have been able to say in my 40’s. Feel free to comment the funny things you say now regardless of your age, that you didn’t say in your teens.
WHEN DON’T I HAVE SCIATICA?
Now that I am in my 40’s and I am done abusing my body with gymnastics, hockey, water tubing, tower climbing etc. I have this constant sciatic pain…..low, dull, ache in the butt cheek.
I’m at the age where a sneeze is likely scarier than being shot at! One sneeze gone wrong can simultaneously, throw my back out and make me pee my pants. No joke a sneeze is something I need to stand still and brace myself for, especially if I am in public!
I NEED A BED BRA
Ahhhhhh if you haven’t reached this stage…you will! Especially if you are “better endowed.” When gravity takes over your titties and leaving them free is right up there with suicide!
When you can roll over at night and trap your own titty under your elbow, or you can go for a bra fitting and they measure your boob inseam! That time in your life when you HAVE to put your bra on before your jeans as to not get your own nipple caught in the zipper.
Yes ladies they don’t stay up there forever.
I’M ON ( FILL IN THE BLANK) FOR MY (FILL IN THE BLANK)
I go to Florida for a couple weeks every winter (it’s my pre-retirement warm up.) My parents who are fully retired have a house there and so I make the drive or flight, depending when I go every year.
One year in particular it struck me funny, that after a long day of golfing with the ladies, we had gathered for what we call “poo poo’s on the lanai” and the conversation was centered around who took what medication, for which ailment, and I laughed, even poked fun at my mom.
About 3 weeks ago I sat with one of my girlfriends and we talked at length about aches, pains, meds, blood work, testing that we have had etc….UGH I have arrived in this place.
IS THIS A LIVER SPOT OR A FRECKLE?
In my day (ugh even that saying is a saying I say now) we weren’t the kindest to our skin. Baby oil and hours in the sun, who needs moisturizer, and I’ll just touch up last nights makeup and go again. Fast forward to today and I find myself concerned over every dark spot, every mole etc.
Age spots (otherwise known as liver spots) are harmless, but definitely tell a story of a young lady who thought she was invincible!
There are all kinds of funnies I say now that I am looking at 50’s horizon, like no I can’t start watching a movie at 8PM John I’ll be asleep at the good part, or no I can’t drink anything after 5PM I’ll be up peeing all night, and does this outing require a lot of walking, if so I am wearing my comfy shoes…..and so many more but you get the idea.
Aging is funny! I thought it was funny watching my parents age while I was 20 years younger, and now I know my kids chuckle at me because they are 20 years younger than me. Mark my word youngins your day awaits, and I hope you can embrace it with the humor I know I have bred into you.
Until next time ladies ( and gents if you are stopping by) have an amazing Monday, and make someone laugh today!
Dayna
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