Hello friends! Todays laugh is centered around being married. For me it’s the second marriage but being a second marriage isn’t really less funny than all the funnies that come along when 2 people decide they are going to join together in life.
I have plenty of friends who are in their 40’s ( heading for late 40’s) and have been married to the same partner since their 20’s and some that are on their third marriage I am on the 2nd and final round.
I think I nailed it this time for real, but I’m about to talk about the funny shit that happens with us because we married older and maybe even some ways overcome.
LET SHIT GO
Easier said than done. With me in my mid 40’s and him racing up to his 50’s we come with boat loads of baggage and crap and quirky little knick knacks that we tend to carry around with us. My father (a very wise man) says “ Dayna you gotta dump your shit bucket!” Otherwise unpack, don’t bring it with you, because there may not be room for you to store it in your new place especially if you are sharing space.
Look I am not even going to sit here and type away like some kind of guru cause I am SO NOT. I am going to tell you that it’s tough but I try and remember not to punish John for the ghosts of relationships past. He in turn does the same and tries to allow me a little space to unpack some stuff I just can’t get rid of right now. Fair… we don’t argue perfect trust me, but we try and get to where it is fair and healthy.
MY FUNNY LITTLE VALENTINE
Be funny! We are funny people both of us and so simply put we laugh more than we don’t!
They say laughter is the best medicine and I will second that all day! Even in our toughest times his dark humor can make me laugh….. for example menopause brain makes me walk past the microwave, piss my pants and forget my name…it’s a legitimate craziness, and he knows it bothers me in a dark place, so he makes it lighter he makes it funny for me. All while being very sweet and careful ( likely for his own safety) not to push to far.
He leaves me little notes in my lunch to remind me that even though I feel like my stuff ain’t working right, or I tend to ride a little left of center, that he loves me, and that he sees me…..and that he loves my ass in those pants lol.
Laugh…..a lot… it’s what’s good!
THIS AINT MAYBERRY!
Check your ideals at the alter folks. You can not take 2 different people raised in 2 different families, with 2 different life experiences, add them up and have the super swell life we watched on TV as kids.
Especially in a second or third marriage, older aged marriage, blended family marriage. You just can’t, and the sooner you come to terms with that the better.
Now that’s not to say you can’t have an “ideal” marriage because you certainly can, it happens all the time….to people who have adjusted their ideals to suit.
Walking around resentful and disappointed with what you thought you were going to have is like pushing the pull door….it gets you nowhere, and you’ll likely feel really stupid when the Walmart greeter has to come up and show you how the door works, and then you turn all red cause people are watching and your kid is in the cart crying…….oh ummmm never mind you get the point.
Test drive…it’s the only way you know what you’re buying. #CarSalesmenAreHappyPeople
DON’T LEAVE EM GUESSING
If your partner tells you they love you, and the sentence sounds like it has a question mark at the end of it….you doing it wrong!
Say I love you, state it! In the words of my favorite Kevin Hart- “Say it with your chest” simply put…mean it.
Not habit ones like end of calls (although they are important) or on the way out the door. Like when your partner is in the shower, or pooping, or sitting there not doing a whole lot of anything, barge in and say it.
Find a fun way to communicate it…I say to my husband often.” nice bum where ya from” and he has a smart ass remark that is not quite PG enough for this forum…but it’s funny and I love it!
It’s simply stated, no round about way to misinterpret it, and it makes a person aware.
I’m not expert I won’t even claim that ( clearly I am on my second round) all I can tell you is keep it light, embrace your happy, and laugh. Life is far to short for anything else!
Till next time enjoy each other!
Dayna
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